sounds

I jumped into the cold, dark, blue with only one thing in mind, the life of another. I don’t really know how it happened, all I remember is that I need to be there, and I was. I kicked my legs and I paddled my arms but by the time I got to her, she had gone under. I pushed down into the darkness with only my heart to guide me. I descended deeper and deeper as my fear grew larger and larger, but that would not stop me for I was already passed the point of no return. And then! There it was, I could hear a single noise through the thickness. It was the noise of a heart beating. I knew I was closer to her. I kicked and paddled and the sound grew louder and louder. When I reached the highest pitch I was then holding the coldest, most comforting hands that I will ever touch. I started my ascent immediately and soon after I was already at the shore with her in my arms. I did not panic for I knew she would always be with me. I set her down and gave her a part of me, the part that we hold so dearly. She accepted and as I knew all along she was with me.

wrote this a while ago

who are we to say what is beautiful and what is not. why cant every thing be beautiful, why cant every one look at what is really beautiful and not what is there. its an illusion that we must over come, its a mind set that we must over power. its time for change, change is good, change is great. i woke up this morning wanting change but it is only up to you to change it. if i had a long conversation with you over the phone would you want to meet me, would you want to see the real me. go out into the world and talk to some one and listen to the words not the image that has overcome those words.

spiders

Drops of water fall on my head from the dark old crack in the ceiling. I lay there restless, counting the spiders. I watch as they catch their feast. I wonder how the life of a spider can seem so simple. Here I am lying on a hard wet floor.Why can’t my life be simple? Can I just get up and leave this cold wet place for a new beginning. I crawl up from the floor and sit on a wooden box I use for my collection. I sit for a moment in the silence.I can hear nothing but the sound of the water dripping from the ceiling. I then decide that I am going to be a spider, I am going to be simple. I slip my feet into my shoes and tighten the laces. I stand up, take my coat and the ten dollars I had from the day before. I grab my pack and before I knew it I was already walking with my thumb out and my head held high. An old farm truck rolled by and the man driving singled me to jump in the truck bed.I walked up and climbed in to find another man already there.He asked me where I was headed. I told him I was in search for the simple life, for change. He looked at me weird for a minute or two, and then looked away. I started going through my pack looking for my blanket when I heard his voice say, “Did you thank the spiders.” I looked up immediately to see nothing. The man was gone.

the 5 steps

I sit in the middle of it all, but i only sit cross legged. I sit wide awake unlike the others. I look around, I listen , I smell, I feel. I wounder what I would be like with out my sane self. I wounder how things could be different. I want to be different. I must escape. I take the first step. I must get my chicken boned legs out of this knot. I take each leg and stretch them out, but not fast only slow will let me be free. step two. I must rise up. But I must do this slowly for I cannot let the other cross legged's here me. I rise up from the cold floor but not all the way because I do not want to come in contact with the ceiling. Step three. I look around, I make sure that they did not see me. Who knows what they will think of me, for I am no longer cross legged. Step four. Move. I must only use the cold toes on my feet to slowly glide away. But where am i going? The light! There is a light in a distance. the same light that has caught my eye when i was a cross legged. I must go to the light, there i will know what to do. Arriving at the light, i then know step five. climb. In front of me is a ladder that ascends up into the light. I put my foot and hand on the bars in front of me and begin to climb. I feel the warmth of the light touch my cold blooded hands. I move on. The climb is long, I stop to catch my breath but only for a moment, for I am too excited at what lies ahead. I finally reach the top and climb out of the dark hole that was once my life. I rise up all the way this time. I let the light from above hit my body and feel warmth. I am immediately greeted by another one who is standing up all the way. As i observe him i know he will be kind for he is not sitting cross legged.